Giving it up, any-which-way you look at it, is about offering our selves up to others in some sort of service.
And to offer ourselves up in ways that nurture and honor both ourselves and the people we’re in service to, we need to do the down and sometimes dirty work of connecting inwards and aligning ourselves with h our authentic voice, our inner wisdom and our center.
I’ll get really honest with you here — 5 years ago I felt like I had no friends. Or I had people in my life that didn’t feel like friends — that made me feel hurt, put out, misunderstood, even angry with myself for becoming someone else around them because it didn’t feel safe to be myself. And part of that (even though it’s hard to write to you about) was because I didn’t feel like who I was really deserved loving, supportive friends. I felt like I had to take what I could. And I did. And the relationships made me wither — sometimes literally.
Taking what I felt I could get landed me in a horribly wrong and dysfunctional marriage, in a house I hated, with friends who were so bent on self-destruction that they couldn’t be there for me.
And in this place of disconnect, of sadness, of inauthenticity I wasn’t serving any of the people in my life, either — the fault wasn’t (by a long shot) all theirs.
Oh, and this was fun — all the stress and sadness also was making me sick all the time. With a 12-month old baby whom I was alone with most of the time. In a house I hated. And completely broke.
What I want to share with you was that even though I sobbed for a quick life change, even though I prayed and begged the powers that be for my situation to change….it didn’t until I DID. For real. I had to risk everything (and here’s what I lost: my husband, my house, my money, and my health, to start with) to come back to center and start over. I had to tear down the structure of EVERYTHING that was rotten and molding (but that I was clutching onto because I was afraid of being without it) in order to rebuild from the foundation up.
And guess what? When I did the down-and-dirty (and tearful, and heartbreaking, and financially staggering, and terrifying) work of going back to step one and rebuilding from my authentic self (after I even figured out who that was anymore)….my structure DAZZLED the eye.
Connecting to my authentic self and really building my life from my heart-center created amazing friends who love and support me (and whom I commit to showing up for), work I LOVE that pays the bills before they’re due (WHAT?!?!?), a man I can’t stop touching who makes me laugh out loud in the middle of the night, a kid who knows mama can put aside work for an hour to play a game with her on the regular…and more.
How do your relationships reflect who you are in this place in your life?
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My Heart-Centered Call To Action for YOU:
Women and boundary work go together like group trips to the bathroom.
Are you ready to connect deeply enough with yourself and receive support, tools and structure for looking at how your personal and professional relationship have held you back in your life?
Are you tired of feeling like you can’t be, or aren’t really yourself in relationships?
Do you need to move into a place where you have relationships in your life that nurture and support you?
I’m opening space for 3 new private clients this month. To see if one of these spaces is for you I have 5 complimentary call slots open — and two of them filled as soon as I announced it.
Is one of the remaining 3 yours? Seize it today by calling me at (917) 971-5347
Find out more about the complimentary call by visiting: Your Free Call — go ahead- seize it!!
And my 6 year old, Bella Nysa, wants to remind us: Sharing IS Caring! So send this to other women in your life so they can create relationships that serve them, too.
Much love, women.