It’s almost Halloween, the days are getting cooler and darker and energy is sinking inwards. I spend a lot of time watching the trees shed their leaves, letting go of all their external pieces and their weight to sink their energy deep into the roots for winter.
And like the trees I’m eager to shed exess weight to begin all the inner work I have brewing this fall. So many delicious things bubbling on the fire and all the baggage just holds me back — in the form of excess pounds that make me feel sluggish, negative feelings that keep me boiling and stewing inside my head, and one particular toxic and poisonous person lurking in my family’s life that keeps me stuck in a place where I’m boiling over with fury and resentment.
So here are my updates, progress-wise, via the inspiration from the trees
I’ve hired a persoanl trainer! Her name is Charlotte Blake, of Mama Moves, and she is SO amazing — in just 3 weeks of working with her my body feels stronger and leaner, and all my achey parts hurt SO much less! My jeans fit better and I feel saucier. So in terms of shedding the physical weight — with Charlotte’s help that’s in the works!
Here’s where I out myself. I’m currently working REALLY hard to manage energy around the most toxic, poisonous person I’ve ever come across — and she’s smack in the middle of my life. My old-love-turned-new and his two amazing kids come attached (for now) to the most malicious, toxic, hurtful, dramatic and unstable woman I’ve ever had in my life, and with my love in the middle of a horrible custody battle this woman and her messes are becoming a daily part of our lives. The Libra in me is grinding her teeth to nubs with the unfairness of what my partner and his kids are having to put up with, and sadly the court moves slowly and semi-intelligently through the process. There’s also daily drama and hatred and insanity coming from her that impacts my whole family.
So I’m REALLY getting to practice not going ballistic (which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t, if I’m being totally honest with you…) at something that’s pretty much out of my hands.
Do you have toxic people in your life that just have to be there for the time being — in your family, your workplace, your relationships?
Here’s what’s helping me:
- I’m staying really connected to what I DO have power over. Right now, that’s helping my love raise the money for court so this can get dealt with. I have power over that.
- I’m remembering what matters: I’m in this situation because I LOVE this man and his kids — and that’s why I choose to be here. So I can try and stay in the place of love by focusing on what he and the kids need here — a hug? Some relief with the kids so he can sleep a little after working all night? How can I HELP him here?
- Stabilize and care for myself: lots of extra self-care in the form of grounding, setting boundaries, etc… LOTS. And venting to friends (not him — which would stress him out more– but to other sympathetic and supportive friends) to get some of the weight off my chest when I need to.
I want to hear from you: write in and tell us what helps you let go of extra weight — physically or emotionally. The more tools we share, the more we have to use.
And I bet reading this has made you want to really examine your own life for any toxicity or negativity. Get some support in my newsletter by subscribing here: Subscribe me!