I’m coming clean.

My work is based around guiding women to clarity, supporting them in setting up goals and systems that work for them, helping them to still the noise in their heads so they can tap into their deep inner wisdom and find the answers to the questions they have, clear the blocks and fears that stand in their way of abundance, and set their lives up EXACTLY the way they want to.

And a lot of the time, I walk my talk. And to be fair, in 6 years I’ve gone from a broke, alone, isolated, miserable and dis-empowered, overweight single mama to an amazingly happy women. I quit my day job last year. I work solely on what I love, and set the hours that I want to be working. I take off to go on 4-day weekends to a farmhouse upstate, to go have lunch at school with my daughter, for an unexpected beach day. I have more money in the bank than I need to live on right now, I have friends who support me unconditionally, I have a new beautiful home that I love with lots of space and no stress. I have time to work and do all the other odd things I love – save pit bulls, learn to be a supervisor at the compost center near our new home, read at least a book a week, cook lots of yummy food (next recipe to try: a summer pink lemonade cake!), take private Pilates classes, go back and forth to Maine to finish the octopus tattoo on my arm that I’ve been working on for a year…and more!

And here’s my confession. Sometimes, I let it all slip and it feels like everything crashes, in a glinting, smashed pile of sharp shards on the floor in front of me.

We moved at the beginning of this month. While it’s brought me no shortage of joy, the move caused an upheaval in my physical world and delivered a blow to my sacred structure that…it’s scary to admit to you here…has TOTALLY collapsed my work world.

Since we moved I haven’t done my Sacred Structure on Sundays. I don’t have a work space set up in the new place yet. I’m doing work willy-nilly with no blueprint because I haven’t made the time to set up a new blueprint.

And I’m outing myself, because I occasionally hear that mean, nasty little voice in my head that says, “You’re a fraud. You can’t practice what you preach. Why should women come to you for help? How can you help anyone?”

And I’ll tell you how I answer that voice.

First of all, I get support. This week it looked like telling my coach how I was feeling, and letting her call me on the loop I was getting into in my head by telling myself that I had let everything slip and had to go back to square one.

Then, it was the crucial step of energy management – which often looks like answering that mean voice.

I say to my mean voice: “I’m actually not a fraud, and it’s my own path and my own struggles and my successful navigation and overcoming of them that, in part, makes me such a great coach… because I know where women are coming from, and I’ve been there, and I know what works and can guide them to it. I love working with women who are ready to make changes in their lives because I know firsthand what a powerful place that is to stand in, and they can feel that love, and it makes them want to work with me even more! And that’s why women keep calling me saying a talk I did changed their thinking, or an article I wrote made them pick up the phone and call me – because I KNOW their struggles. I am a terrific coach, and I just need to take the next best step for myself here. What does that look like?”

Then, I pick one small step to get back in the swing of things. This week, that looked like making a morning to write this to you. Or two. :)

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