- One step forward, two steps back.
- You’re sailing along, on top of the world, and suddenly, CRASH.
- Why can’t things just go RIGHT, consistently??
If you’ve ever had any of the above thoughts, you are SO not alone. Lately it feels like I’ve noticed the following pattern: I set a crazy goal, making a commitment to persistent and consistent action in support of said goal…
Then you know what happens? I HIT the goal. And I sail. I celebrate, war-whoop, sometimes I dance, and make the kids dance with me. I take myself out for oysters. I tell my friends. I revel in the win, I roll in the cool, earthy, mud of my attainment. I toast a local beer to myself and the work I love.
And then, you know what happens next?
I hit a wall. Hard.
Hitting a wall, for me, might look like any or all of the following:
- I feel like I have no money, or have to scramble to pay for something we need.
- Something painful happens in a relationship.
- I lose all motivation, let my schedule collapse, stop exercising, don’t make time to take care of myself.
- I lose a couple nights of sleep and can’t think straight.
- I let a work deadline go by, don’t stick to a blueprint I made for a project, don’t reach out to attract new clients.
And I feel like I’m slipping, I get caught in panic, I tell myself stories about how I can’t do what I need to, how I’m failing, how I can’t get organized enough/make enough money/lose enough weight, etc.
I do. I do all those things. And I know you do some of them, too.
And I have a huge default pattern of thinking that goes like this: say I’ve been tracking my money. And I’ve been writing down everything I spend in order to take control of my finances and connect with my financial abundance. I keep a little notebook with me and jot down every payment I make, every little thing I buy.
And then, for two days, I forget. Or I remember but I already messed up and didn’t write down purchases from this morning, so I feel like to write this afternoons purchases doesn’t make sense until I write this mornings and get caught up…
And before I know it, I’ve “failed.” And I tell myself the old story that I can’t even keep track of my expenses. I can’t even manage my money. And it slips through my fingers. And I’m irresponsible with money. And who knows WHAT the heck would happen if I had a whole lot more of it! I’d be losing track of a WHOLE lot of money instead of just the amount I have now!
But this pattern is SO not working for me anymore. It really isn’t. It’s just screwing stuff up, making me feel terrible, and not helping me to manifest what I want. It’s STOPPING me from being able to get what I want.
So this is what I’m doing differently. After reading “The Big Leap,” by Gay Hendricks (have you read it? If not- put this down and go get it. I’ll be here when you come back: The-Big-Leap) I’m changing sh** up.
I’m letting go of feeling like crap about myself and I’m choosing to see all this stuff that’s coming up as gateways on the trip upwards and onwards. As necessary pieces that are floating to the surface for me to deal with and release, so they don’t block me anymore.
And then, I’m re-committing.
I’m re-committing to myself. To my goals. To my work. And I’m allowing myself the gentle act of love of starting over. It’s OK that I didn’t write down any expenses yesterday– I’ll start all over again today. It’s OK.
I want to succeed more than I want to be able to do something perfectly.
I’m ready to move forward- I’m ready to have what I want. And I’m committed to taking the steady steps to make it so.
Does this sound familiar to you? If you’d like some powerful tips on breaking this habit for yourself, make sure you subscribe to my newsletter for ways to practice this work at home. Subscribe here: http://www.inarmscoaching.com/index.php